Dating and fear in the age of hiv

Dating While HIV Positive - POZ

dating and fear in the age of hiv

How I Learned to Get Over My Fear of Dating HIV-positive Men we've been conditioned from a very young age to fear this virus and to avoid it. Dating in the age of HIV stigma. 'I was angry at myself for being afraid when I knew full well there was no reason to It wasn't a first date kiss. Not only did new infections still occur at a destructive pace, many felt a sense of fear around sex, as well as worry when getting regular HIV.

These are valid things to think about while dating anyone, but I try not to stress out over them because stress doesn't help anyone grow. It just kills T-cells! It can be refreshing for people with HIV to date others with HIV because they don't have to worry about rejection or fear.

dating and fear in the age of hiv

For me, there is a heavy weight lifted off of my shoulders when I'm dating and being sexual with another HIV-positive person. When I'm with someone who already knows he's positive, we can relate to each other and bond in a way that's very attractive, comfortable, and supportive.

There's also less worry about infecting the other person, and that can increase intimacy. I feel a different sense of freedom -- I joke about my status and I let down my guard.

dating and fear in the age of hiv

Safer sex is still encouraged for HIVpositive couples because there's a risk of re-infection superinfectionwhich can lead to both people becoming resistant to one another's HIV meds. But the fear of infection is not present when the relationship moves from dating to sex. But some question the idea of "sticking to your own kind". Could that be a form of internalized HIV stigma?

Dating and Fear in the Age of HIV: 'I'd Like to Sleep With You -- and I'm HIV-Positive'

Segregating yourself -- dating only those who are "like you" -- eliminates getting to know people for who they are inside and prevents you from exploring all your options in the dating scene. It's often preached in our community that we should be able to fall in love with anyone regardless of race, class, gender, sexuality, or even HIV status.

My Life With HIV

It's definitely possible to date someone who doesn't have the same HIV status, and to be very happy with that person. As I mentioned before, the best relationship I ever had was with someone who was negative.

HIV-negative guys find me sexy -- I can't help it! Whether it is better to date someone with the same status or a different status is really up to you. I've often heard that this choice is influenced by the disclosure experiences people have.

Some folks are open to the world about being positive and mention it on the first date, while others are very private and would rather share their status only on a "need-to-know" basis -- say, if they are having sex that could be risky.

People are at different places when it comes to accepting it and talking about it -- and that's okay. There are pros and cons to disclosing immediately or waiting until later, but my advice would be to make sure to have a clear and direct conversation when you do decide to tell.

To reduce their risk of acquiring HIV, many gay men, myself included at times, choose to adopt various strategies when having sex without a condom.

dating and fear in the age of hiv

But they are also more likely to use other strategies to reduce their risk of HIV infection, including having sex only with guys who tell them they are HIV negative.

This would be an effective strategy if everyone knew their true HIV status all the time. But of course this is not reality, not even among those who use strategy!

Even if we are regular testers, we may still have sex with other guys whose HIV status is unknown in between our tests, and most HIV tests require some time before HIV can be detected. So if this is a strategy you regularly use to stay HIV negative, you should be assuming that not every guy who tells you they are HIV negative is actually HIV negative. Not because they are lying, but because they may not know.

Being young and HIV positive | AVERT

On the contrary, having sex with a guy who knows they are positive, on treatment, and has an undetectable viral load is a much safer strategy than posting Neg UB2 on your profile. When you first meet someone, it can be really exciting and it can be intense, as you get to know each other. When should you tell them that you have HIV?

dating and fear in the age of hiv

How will they react? How can you have sex without passing it on?

Dating and Fear in the Age of HIV: 'I'd Like to Sleep With You -- and I'm HIV-Positive' | HuffPost

How do you explain what it means to be undetectable and about PrEP? Deciding how and when to tell a partner involves a lot of the same thinking as telling a friend, and more. It's not that bad and there are times when you forget you have HIV. Eventually, even when you remember you're positive, it's no longer an issue.